A bus in Oakland, CA was rocked by the Epic Beard Man (EBM) in February 2010, as he stood his ground to a black street thug, and pummeled his way to internet success in self defense.

The story began with two men having a fight over a black thug taking offense at something the EBM had said in private.  This led the thug to verbally insult the EBM, and threaten physical harm.  Not wanting a confrontation, the EBM moved to another seat in the front of the bus, as far away from the hooligan as he could get.  As his type usually does, the black followed, still issuing his insidious insults to the EBM.  Despite the EBM wanting to mind his business, the black provocateur made his attack physical, punching the EBM in the face.  Not one to back away from a challenge, the EBM stood his ground and struck back, again, and again, and again leaving the thug’s face a bloody, bruised mess.

The bus driver stopped immediately and the EBM left the bus in order to get away from the attacker, his black supporters.  As the ruffian regained his seat, he uttered his now famous line, “Bring Amber Lamps”- which most Ebonics scholars agree most likely means, “I need help, please call an ambulance.”

Soon after the hoodlum, was interviewed on an Oakland radio station, and claimed he’d been the victim of an unprovoked attack, despite the video evidence of him throwing the first punch.  Soon after the politically correct, white guilt ridden media pundits began telling the story as one of a big mean white guy, viciously attacking an innocent black guy minding his own business.  They called for the EBM’s prosecution, and tried to pave the way to a potential lawsuit for the assailant.

Thankfully their attempts have failed, and the EBM remains an icon for whites across the nation who’ve been pushed and beat up, who are tired of being the innocent victims of crime.  The EBM is a modern tale of a man that refuses to back down when bullied, and stood his ground, even if it was to a member of another race.

However, his story is one that has waned quickly over the past year and a half.  But as it drifts into obscurity, Hollywood has come to our rescue, and has adapted the EBM’s story to a feature movie due to be released in April 2012 entitled ‘Bad Ass’.  Thank God, the good Jews that run Hollywood have the Occidental man’s interest first; have sought to preserve this tale of the EBM’s courage for future generations.

But before you eagerly purchase a ticket in your support of EBM, and cram theaters to view a modern hero, there’s something you must understand.  Something about the EBM being white, and beating away and attacking black goon, is racist. This is where the politically correct script writers of Hollywood step in to help us.  Instead of a hulking white EBM, they portray him as a large Mexican man that’s had his fill of being pushed around.

You might be confused how this is helpful, so Hollywood lends another helping hand.  They know how insensitive it’d be to portray the black thug, as an African-American, so to help whites with their racism; they cast him as a loud mouthed white criminal.  Hollywood knows that whites don’t want to be insensitive to other races, and are always quick to volunteer to be cast as the role of agitator criminal types.

Still not satisfied they were helping preserve this small piece of history correctly, Hollywood has helped even further.  Instead of the white-bearded EBM we all know that doesn’t want to fight crime, but merely stand his ground, the new and improved black-bearded Chicano EBM is a crime fighting machine – stomping white thugs wherever he goes.  Sure the trailer shows the new EBM stopping one Mexican robber, and milking a black man for information, the trailer offers clues that Oakland a town that’s black and white population is equal at 27%, is suffering largely from white criminals.

Again Hollywood helps whites to understand that they are the problem, and that if properly managed by heroes like the brown EBM, they might be able to assimilate to be a productive part the American fabric.  Hopefully through the efforts of films like this, American whites will stop their lives of crime, their rioting for Air Jordans, their violent street gangs, and will strive to get a job and quit living off of the efforts of others.

Tongue and cheek aside, it’s probably too late to stop the release of this film, and I seriously doubt the real EBM benefited financially from the film, but it’s not too late to remember our history.  No matter what race or creed you are, no one has the right to pervert your history, by casting historical characters as members of another race.  Furthermore if you’re of another race and after reading this article, think it’s written by a skinhead racist living his mother’s basement, you’re wrong.  If someone from your race had been a local hero, and then when the story’s ‘officially’ told, much to your race’s chagrin a member of your race is now the perpetrator and no longer the hero, you’d be outraged.

Now if the EBM had been black in real life, and was now portrayed as white, every Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would demand blacks to protest, and chimpout if necessary to halt ticket sales to the film.  But, this is all a part of the master plan – back whites into a corner, rewrite their history, and scream racist if they dare stand up and make a fight.  It’s a win-win for every race but the white race, as they join in unison to try to stomp out our existence one story at a time.

So no matter if you’re a fan of the EBM or not, say no to this revision of history.  Put your foot down and tell Hollywood you’re tired of them making whites the criminals and other races the victim.  Boycott the movie, write letters to the film’s producers, blitz their Facebook page, whatever it takes to get their attention and tell them you’re pissed off and not taking their crap any longer.

Pay the creator’s of Bad Ass a visit, and drop them a line, telling of your disgust: “http://www.facebook.com/heisbadass”

Phinehas Fury